Dirt
by Lil'Dutchy
Summary: Things happen for a reason. But some things happen for reasons you'd rather not know. Being a ninja doesn't create the possibility to ignore your true emotions. It just creates the possibility to shut them out for a while. -KakaSaku Lemon Oneshot-


**Uni has been killing me lately but I'm pushing through. This plot bunny has been stalking me for the past week. I should have been studying today. I haven't done so. I'm screwed. Yep.**

**Just in case anyone is wondering: I am not going to add a chapter to this. It's done and complete. Even though it has potential, it would just bleed to death. **

**Thanks to my girl kobrakai88 for the beta-ing. If anyone feels the need to beta it as well, go ahead, we may have missed some mistakes. **

**Please leave a review! It means a lot to me. I have said this before but it's the honest truth. They are what get me through studying, amongst other things. I've never posted anything this short so let me know what you think! -smirk-**

**I _do_ own Naruto. I'm also the Queen of The Netherlands and own all the cookie companies.**

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**Dirt**

_Kakashi's POV (most of the time)_

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He could not even remember when it had started. It must have been about two and a half years ago, he figured. The way she had flaunted her twenty year old body in front of him. The way she had consciously batted her eyelashes to win him over. The way she had so easily batted his concerns away when he had told her that he was much too old for such delicate things.

Her strength. Her beauty.

But most of all he had been shocked by the way she had told him, after their first bout of rough (and slightly dominating on his part) lovemaking, that she had always had admired him as a skilled ninja in service of Konoha and that this admiration had grown towards adoration over the past years. It was safe to say he had been over the moon.

He wasn't entirely sure how they had ended up in bed together the first time, but what he had remembered the morning after was, that it had been good. Damn good. And that there had probably been a lot of alcohol involved as well on that night of her twentieth birthday. He would not have been persuaded that easily if there had not been.

He had desired her ever since she had turned eighteen. Sick as it was, it was the truth and nothing but the truth. After two years, he had 'done' her, as Genma would so charmingly put it when he had conquered yet another nameless woman.

And by God, did he love their rough bouts of lovemaking. Or rather: sex. They always had had sex. Lovemaking was tender and even though there was room for tenderness and pleasing, somehow both of them had always had the unsatisfied need to have the other as often as possible. Resulting in the two of them 'going at it' (another phrase from Genma) in the most awkward places and positions. Some of which could hardly be called loving. This had included poofing in on the other whilst this party was at work. Kakashi had probably had Sakura in every corner of her office, including her body being bent over her desk, her behind planted on the desk or her bosom flattened against her window when the sun would shine upon it so nobody would see due to the glass' reflection.

He never wanted people to know about their 'dirty little secret', as she had always called it with much added sarcasm. Not being able to love each other in public, showing their affection for the other had been the first crack in their…thing.

He had loved her teasing. During meetings she made sure she would have to pass him by so she could rub her ass against the front of his Jonin pants, leaving him to explain why he was sweating feverishly all of a sudden. Or she would get a little more creative, switching duties so she could give him his physical (he had enjoyed this immensely, especially the part that had involved a stethoscope) or dropping something and just having to bend over. Naturally wearing a ridiculously short skirt that day giving him a rather clear view of her choice of undergarments (or on occasion, lack thereof). And this would then usually ensue in another bout of sex. It had almost been like a vicious circle.

He had loved everything about their, well, he wasn't sure about what to call it either. He had been uncertain of many things during his time with the kunoichi, which had alerted him. And when she had declared to love him whilst climaxing on the top of her lungs, he knew he had to get out of it, whatever 'it' was.

He knew he loved her. He had always loved her, only in different ways. As a student, and later on as his lover. There was no way around it. It was just that it had scared the shit out of him. And rather than exclaiming that he loved her back, he had fled, leaving her to deal with the broken pieces of what once had been 'it', on her own.

She had avoided him like the draught in the Land of Wind ever since.

He had loved her. But he could love her no more. It was wrong.

For Hatake Kakashi had lost his beloved cherry-blossom to a Sasuke Uchiha who had returned to the village roughly two years ago. The moment he had proposed to her, she had known his first motive was to revive his clan. Yet she had never stopped hoping she could teach him how to love. And if anything, Haruno Sakura was a sucker for making other people happy and forgetting her own happiness in the process, realizing this all too late. It was just in her nature to nurse others and put her own priorities last in times when others could possibly need her.

And boy, did Sasuke need her. He had been a wreck ever since he had gone to seek for power and if anything, Kakashi had foreseen this. But he had no right to stop Sakura when she had accepted the Uchiha's proposal at the 'Kunai Pouch', the local ninja waterhole. He was a man of standard, even though most of the village did no longer respect him or just point blank avoided him. Sakura had never lost faith in him however, which the raven-haired man surprisingly had mentioned that same night, whilst getting down on that worn-out one knee. Kakashi had watched her accepting the proposal, had then emptied the full contents of a bottle of sake down his throat and had wobbled back home to his apartment.

He had drunk so much the day of the wedding he had been carried back home by Naruto, who had, by some miracle, remained almost perfectly sober. It probably had to do with the blonde feeling responsible for getting his wife, Hyuuga Hinata, home safely. Instead of accompanying his charming wife home however, the Uzumaki had had to settle for steadying his former sensei, dragging him to his apartment and wondering what the hell was wrong. Either something was wrong, or Kakashi had lost a drinking bet.

It _had _been wrong. Dead wrong.

It was not to say that all wrong things belonged to the past though. Something was definitely wrong at present.

_Yes_. Having your tongue shoved down a married woman's throat was definitely not right. And this same woman responding in kind was, frankly, something one could only hope for when being in Kakashi's place.

_Kakashi watched with part interest and part amusement as a familiar pink m__op with kunoichi attached to it made her way through his open window and into his apartment. From his living room couch he had a perfect view of Sakura straightening her clothes in his bedroom. _

_Just like the way she had done after she had slept over or right before they were going to. _

_Which is why Kakashi never had a doubt of why she was here. But he'd let her explain. For all he knew, he would be wrong. He could only hope. Useless hope, that was._

_She entered the living room, walking timidly but yet with some sort of strength in her appearance. Strength he hadn't seen on her over the past two years, ever since she had married Sasuke. It pained Kakashi to see his beloved cherry blossom who had become so withered. __But there had been nothing he could have done about it. It was none of his business. She was no longer his business. _

_Sitting down next to him, he scooted over to one side of the couch to create some space between them. He could feel the dip in the piece of furniture__ when she seated herself, much like he had felt before. How many times had he made her scream his name in pleasure on this couch? She seemed to remember the same thing in that moment, quickly averting her eyes from meeting his protruding gaze, looking at her hands folded in her lap instead. _

_Kakashi himself was probably as insecure about this entire sudden strained situation as she was. Which was some sort of accomplishment on her part, the Copy-Ninja of Konoha wasn't insecure very often. But when it came to Haruno Sakura, his backbone just seemed to disappear __entirely at times. _

_Without much other to say, he spoke,_

"_Good evening Sakura." Well, it was something. If anything, she appeared to be relieved he had started the conversation. Her strength had disappeared during her marriage, this same marriage taking its toll on everything she once had had to offer. Kakashi knew exactly what she once had to offer: strength, beauty, intelligence and a gorgeous body. _

"_Kakashi." she nodded curtly, staring at the wall across the couch, remembering how he had taken her up against that wall their second time together. Him too aroused to make it to the bedroom and her not caring, as long as he would fulfil her needs. _

"_Out on a walk?" he asked, taking notice of her slender frame. She wore a red baby doll-dress with an empire waist. Pink __cherry blossom petals with green leaves were embroidered from her right shoulder down, spreading as they fell. She wore a khaki three-quarter length pair of pants and pink flip-flops. There was no way she would be going on a walk wearing that. As she shook her head, suddenly he remembered._

"_Aren't you supposed to be with Sasuke and the others?"_

"_Yeah…I told them I was going out for a walk because I wasn't feel so well." she muttered under her breath. It was clear there was more itching at the surface, and he wouldn't be Hatake Kakashi if he couldn't persuade her to blab. Sure, he respected people's privacy, but Sakura wasn't just 'people'. She was the first woman he had ever truly loved. And when in love, people and nins did silly things. _

"_So it was the walk then, in the end? Honestly Sakura, I'd say you picked up my habit of twisting the truth –"__ he chuckled._

"_You mean telling lies." she pointed out, eager for him not to finish that sentence. Which he did anyway._

"_You must have picked up that habit from the time we were –"_

"_I doubt it."_

"_It's your two-year anniversary. You should be with your husband, not keeping your poor old sensei company." It was not to say that he minded her choosing him over his former student on this special day. It just worried him that she had done so. _

"_Trust me, you wouldn't want to spend time with a husband this drunk that he can't even remember you're his wife."_

"_Oh…" was his intelligent reply. For a genius, he wasn't giving a lot of feedback. _

"_Yeah."_

_He dreaded to ask his next question, knowing it could either force her to spill her feelings on this couch to him or that it would send her as far away from him as possible. Then again, she had not come to him for no reason, this was something he was certain of. _

"_So why are you here Sakura?"_

"_Just to see why you weren't at the anniversary and –"_

"_Sakura."_

_She looked up into his eyes, gaze over her shoulder, those emerald pools reading both want and despair. _

"_I can't do it anymore, Kakashi." And with those words she burst out in an attack of sobs and shakes assaulting her body. Before he could ask any further, she continued, the sobs still in-between her sentences, never letting up. _

"_My marriage is dead."_

"_I had figured as much."_

"_Sasuke, he…I…I wanted to teach him how to love. How to love me__ like I love him. But I should've known he couldn't. He can't love me Kakashi. Sometimes he stares at me when I tell him I love him, as though he is looking right through me. It makes me feel hollow. I don't want to feel hollow anymore, Kakashi, I can't. I really can't. It's eating me, consuming me whole, this emptiness inside. And when he's drunk –"_

"_Is he violent, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, concern lacing his voice whilst he scooted closer to her, now intending to not leave an inch of space between their bodies. _

"_No, it's not that." she sobbed, although her sobs were slowly dying down. "When he drinks, he gets all kind and lovely. Tells me that he loves me. Even though I know he doesn't mean it."_

"_Sometimes people say things they do mean when they are drunk, just because the alcohol subdues a part of you that would normally keep you from saying these things." he soothed, putting an arm around her shoulder to comfort her._

"_Do you even believe that yourself?"_

"_Well no." was his honest reply. _

"_Why did he marry me in the first place?"_

"_Was that rhetorical?"_

"_If you like."_

"_I think he wanted to love you. He really did want to. But like you said, he can't. And hurting as it may be, he always had the first and foremost motive to revive his clan. One can do such a thing without love being involved, Sakura."_

"_Well, there hasn't been a lot of reviving in this marriage." she snorted whilst rubbing her nose. _

_He wasn't sure if he had heard that right. His, well, Sasuke's beautiful, intelligent, bright, passionate, incredibly sexy and naughty Sakura had not been 'reviving'? How could the Uchiha be so blind?! In that instant Kakashi understood as little of Sasuke as ever. _

"_Excuse me…are you telling me he never__…you never – " his voice trailed off, the rubbing of her back coming to a halt to rub the back of his own head instead. _

_She shivered._

"_Well, we have…like…sometimes. But every time, I don't know, it's not getting anywhere on my part. It frustrates him and he usually doesn't feel like trying again for a long time. It makes me feel hollow again. Not at all like the time when _we_ were –" she finished her sentence abruptly. _

_He nodded,_

"_I understand."_

"_No, you can't. You don't have to." She turned her face to meet his eyes and handsome face. She had seen his face many times and at home he usually disposed of his mask and hitai-ate to breathe some proper, fresh _air-conditioned_ air. _

"_Just…I don't want to feel hollow anymore, Kakashi." She grabbed a hold of his hands. Her eyes turning from sad to pleading. From despair to want. He recognized the look in her eyes immediately and knew this had to stop. It had to stop._

_But he didn't want it to stop. _

"_Please, Kakashi, make me feel loved." she begged as she inched in closer. Her lips ghosted over his as she breathed out her sweet breaths. __His hands on her shoulders, trying to push her away but for some reason his arms failed to comply. _

"_Kakashi…" she whispered against the crook of his neck in a breathless voice, sultry and seductive. _

_Before she could even register it, he had grabbed her by her sides and had launched them off the couch to pin her against the wall. The wall had always been his favourite. He pinned her arms to her sides with his own hands and forced his way inside her mouth._

_Rather than asking for permission by tapping her bottom lip, he crashed his lips upon hers and forced his way in with his tongue. She did not mind, the need to have him stronger and greater than the need to exchange courtesies. _

**A/N: And this, ladies and gentlemen, is where we left off.**

Their tongues fought for dominance, his trying to sweep the roof of her mouth whilst she desperately tried to take as much of him as she could by tugging his bottom lip with her teeth. It drove him even madder with want for the moaning kunoichi in his arms. Slowly releasing the grip on her arms, he pried her legs apart with his knee, nudging her in a wider stance. He stepped into the opening he had created, standing provocatively close to her.

His lungs screaming for air, he tore his mouth away from hers to find her staring back at him with lust filling and spilling from her eyes as tears leaked onto her cheeks.

"Please Kakashi…love me."

"I always have." he spoke hotly to her lips before claiming them as his own again. "I always will." he groaned.

As they parted to rest their foreheads against each other, she panted,

"I know." It was just that he should have told her long ago. Now that he had confessed his love for her, it would only complicate things. He just _had_ to wait until she was married and they would find themselves in this kind of a situation, hadn't he?

He nuzzled against the crook of her neck while her hands found their way to the back of his neck, clutching the shorter hairs of his silver mop. Just as he was about to suckle the supple skin of her neck, she pulled him even closer and now there was not a millimetre of space left between them. He felt her ample bosom being flattened against his shirt. He felt her tongue twisting and turning in his mouth, sucking on the tip of his with an insatiable hunger when she pulled him in for another searing, hot and almost erotic kiss.

Her kisses had always been his favourite part of their lovemaking. He stood corrected: his favourite part of their rough, intense sex.

His hands in turn found their way to her sides, smoothing the material of her baby doll up and down as his hands went. He cupped her breasts through the tight fabric covering them, her puckered nipples evidence of the fact she was not wearing a bra. Kissing her neck down to her collarbone, she arched her back and pushed her breasts into his hands. He panted,

"I bought you that for our one month anniversary." The irony, for her to wear that to another anniversary. And for him to tear it off.

All she could do was nod as at that point a raw, animalistic moan tore from her throat when he sucked the skin of her collarbone whilst simultaneously rolling her hardened nipples between his fingers.

As his curiosity got the better of him, he could not help but leaving her right breast neglected for a moment to roughly dip his hand beneath the waistband of her pants. Where he knew her panties would start. Nothing but her hairless sex.

"I did not know married women do not wear underwear." he chuckled against her skin.

Sincerity in her voice, she answered, "Married women do, married women who plan to cheat on their husbands don't. And –" He did not allow her to finish that train of thought when he softly started stroking her slippery folds from the back to the front, making her quiver erratically. Good, it had stopped her from thinking about her husband. That would be his goal for now: to make her feel loved.

As she ground herself to his ministrations, he grunted, feeling the half formed erection in his pants beginning to harden when the smell of her arousal permuted the air. His lips were dominating as they claimed hers for another demanding kiss that promised nothing yet wanted everything she had to give. His hands leaving her pants, they grabbed the waistband of her garment and pulled them down in one swift motion. Occupying her thoughts by kissing her senseless, she stepped out of them without even noticing it, not embarrassed in the least that she was half naked.

Wanting to take off all of her clothes, she resisted as she gasped for air. Clutching the hem of his shirt she figured this would take too long. As Kakashi noticed she gathered some chakra in her hands, it was too late and the pieces of his now shredded shirt fell to the floor, leaving him in his standard navy-blue training pants.

Feeling up his chest with her slender fingers, teasing his nipples by pinching them, he continued where he had left of. He flicked her nipple back into erection whilst his other hand continued to play with her most intimate of areas. Her plentiful of moisture allowed him to easily dip two fingers inside of her passage after he parted her folds. The heat was almost mind-blowing as he felt her inner-muscles clamp down on his digits. He wanted to be inside of her. Soon.

Prying her legs apart a little further with his knee, it allowed his fingers to penetrate her even deeper and when a third finger was added to the former two, she moaned against his mouth. He swallowed her sounds of scandal with ease whilst pushing his fingers inside of her.

It was a scandal. They were a scandal. But damn, this scandal felt so good. Too good to let this opportunity pass by.

"Kakashi…", she panted, "please…make…_oww_ –" she cut her own sentence short when he started moving faster within her core, making her legs feel boneless and leaning to the wall for support. She grunted and groaned on top of her lungs whilst she ground herself to his ministrations with feverish speed.

"What?" he grunted in a low, husky voice that would make phone-sex operators have a run for their money.

"Love me. _Make_ love to me." she gasped as he curled his fingers inside of her, his hand dripping with her feminine fluids that were becoming more plentiful by the minute.

"I've never done that to you before." he snickered against her skin, blowing a raspberry against the top of her breast for good measure, showing her he was teasing.

Having trouble controlling her body, she went for his ear, but not before he whispered something in hers,

"I can feel how wet you are getting. I know what you want. Just tell me." That alone could have sent her straight off that cliff, if it weren't for the fact that after about half a year of sex with Kakashi, she had become used to some of his teasing. It was just that at this point, Sakura had not had any good, proper sex over the past two years and was due some. Which is why she was trying to hold onto her control, to make this last.

Biting his earlobe, it was him who quivered as she spoke, again in that sultry voice,

"Fuck me, please." finishing with a tug of his lobe as she faced his lustful expression.

Whatever she wanted, she got.

Swiping the roof of her sweet mouth with his tongue, not even giving her a chance to participate, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. A familiar position in this situation, Kakashi mused. He backed her up against the wall, successfully jamming her between his body and a part of his apartment. She was going to need all the support she could get.

His fingers left her soaked womanhood, licking his fingers clean of her glistening moisture, only to place them on her butt cheeks, supporting her weight, squeezing them, earning him a whimper from her lips. She was mesmerized by everything he did to her. It felt as though she was drugged, at mercy of whatever he felt like doing to her. And she loved it. She wanted 'it'. She wanted him.

Her vision was clouded for a moment when her top was taken off over her head.

She had not the time to register anything tonight as his tongue was on her fleshy, peachy breast next. He sucked away the small beads of sweat, intrigued by the softness and fullness of her breasts. He had always loved her breasts most. They were full, but not Ino-full. Just plentiful and beautiful, peachy skin with pink rosy nipples capping them. He stabbed the sensitive centre of her nipple with his tongue, making her scream his name.

He felt he could take it no longer. The erection in his loins was throbbing painfully with need. He undid the knot in the string that kept his pants up and dropped them to the floor, careful as to not drop the kunoichi by pushing her up against the wall a little further as he stepped out of his pants .

She felt his member bump against her inner thigh. Everything so far had felt great but nothing felt greater than Kakashi placing his member in front of her entrance and swiftly filling her.

Their all consuming need to just slam the other down on the table and fuck like animals left no room for patience or before mentioned courtesies. It was a primal urge, a primal need to 'revive'. In this case, reviving and rekindling a flame still burning within both of them.

As she tightened her grip on him, the feeling of him finally filling her, knowing this was wrong but yet again feeling so right, he pulled back, only to roughly fill her up again. His dominating attitude earning him his name to fall from her lips in syllables. Her fingernails dug into the skin of his back, covered in tiny beads of sweat. With every thrust, he grunted, she groaned. Sometimes they moaned in unison, other times there was no need to produce a sound, the sound of their lovemaking, the wet slaps of hips hitting hips enough to add to the erotic picture they were making.

Yet, it still was not enough and Kakashi knew it. Although he could see the pleasure building up inside of her, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, he knew she needed more. She had always needed more when they would have sex in this position. It just didn't cut it for her. Luckily enough, he just so happened to be one of the largest perverts walking the planet's surface and he was quite inventive in all kinds of situations and areas. The bedroom (or in this case, living room wall) was no exception.

Untangling her right leg from his waist, he threw it over his head and ducked under it. This left him penetrating her from behind, her hands on the wall next to each side of her head preventing her cheek bone from being crushed against the wall.

He ravished her, pounding inside of her with incredible speed, his stamina a gift from God if Sakura were concerned. He could feel her moisture become more plentiful again, she was coming close to her finish, just as he had kept her at her peak with his fingers only minutes ago. His hands took a bruising grip of her hips, one of his hands quickly descending to lower regions however. He stroked her mound and pinched her sensitive and wet bundle of nerves.

He felt the contractions around his invading member becoming more violent, as were her moans, her curses and her incomprehensible screams as she came hard, her inner-muscles clamping down on his rigid cock like a vice. She grabbed the back of his thighs, preventing him from going anywhere but forward as she rode the waves of her pleasure for as long as she could.

When she came down from her high, she realized he was still wedged inside of her. As hard as a rock, which did not surprise her. He always had let her come first, only on few occasions had she managed to tease him into orgasm, lasting longer than he could. Quickly, he started picking up the pace, this time more dominating and rougher than before. Beads of sweat were forming on his brow whilst Sakura tried to steady herself against the wall as well as she could, his rough way of having sex with her nearly _forcing_ her into having another orgasm.

A hand suddenly appeared out of nowhere to coax her nipple back into erection and squeeze her tender breast. It was her last straw and she completely lost it, him following right behind her. Her muscles squeezed him so tightly, milking him for all he was worth. His semen spilled deep inside of her, adding to the already burning heat in her core. His vision was blurred by black and white spots as he squeezed his eyes shut, riding the intense waves of their simultaneous orgasm.

When the painful throbbing started to ebb away, he felt her body go limp and slide down to the floor. Still attached to her in the most intimate of ways, his body still impaling hers, he slid down with her to the floor, to wrap his arms around her front, gently rolling her nipples between his skilled fingers.

It was only then that he heard her sobbing. They had crossed a line. She had cheated. Because of his love for her. Because they loved each other. The impact of what they had just done must have hit her like a ton of bricks. If anything, it hit him twice as hard, a pang of guilt stabbing his gut.

All that was left for him to do was to hold her in his arms, even though she initially resisted, as the sobs of her sin filled his suddenly hollow apartment.

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